Have you ever worked with someone who made you feel like you were walking on eggshells all the time? Like, no matter how careful you were with your words or actions, it was never enough to keep them from snapping or creating chaos? Toxic employees are like weeds in a flourishing garden—they drain energy, stifle growth, and often harm the overall morale of a team. If so, you’ve likely had a run-in with a toxic employee.
Toxic employees aren’t just a workplace nuisance—they often exhibit deeper personality traits that make them downright destructive. Here are a few psychological traits that stand out:
Narcissistic employees often prioritize their own needs over the team's success. They crave attention, take credit for others' work, and dismiss constructive feedback. Studies reveal that narcissists in the workplace can lead to lower team morale and higher employee turnover rates.
Some toxic employees wear their hostility on their sleeves, openly arguing or lashing out. Others? They get sneaky with passive-aggressive comments or subtle digs that make you question if you’re being overly sensitive (hint: you’re not).
You know the type—they can’t handle even the mildest feedback. Defensive employees shut down conversations, deflect criticism, or even gaslight you.
Toxic employees often thrive on manipulation and chaos, using tactics like gaslighting and creating unnecessary drama to keep everyone off balance. Bill Eddy, author of The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, explains how high-conflict personalities manipulate situations to their advantage, making themselves the center of attention.
Gaslighting, for instance, is a favorite tool—they’ll deny events, twist facts, or make you feel like you’re the problem. Combine that with a love for stirring up drama, and you’ve got someone who sows discord in every corner of the workplace. They pit coworkers against each other, escalate minor issues into major conflicts, and feed off the tension they create. It's exhausting and can leave you questioning your own sanity.
They often see themselves as perpetual victims, blaming circumstances, coworkers, or management for their shortcomings or poor performance.
An example of how it might show up at work: After missing a deadline, they might say, “I couldn’t finish because no one gave me the resources I needed,” even though they failed to communicate the issue beforehand. Or all the resources were given, they acknowledged they understood their role, only to later claim they didn't understand.
Sudden mood swings, inappropriate emotional outbursts, or an inability to regulate emotions can make these employees unpredictable and difficult to work with.
Example: An employee might explode in anger during a meeting over a minor disagreement or break down crying when given constructive feedback, creating discomfort for everyone involved.
Let’s be real—working with a toxic employee can feel like being in a never-ending battle. You and your team are overthinking every email or conversation because you’re terrified of setting them off.
Since they are highly sensitive to perceived slights, they may interpret neutral comments as personal attacks and respond with anger, defensiveness, or accusations. Their hypersensitivity often leaves coworkers feeling like they’re “walking on eggshells.”
Their gaslighting might make you doubt yourself, their passive-aggressive emails might ruin your day, and their black-or-white mindset can make teamwork feel impossible. It’s exhausting, demoralizing, and unfair to everyone involved.
But here’s the good news: By recognizing the signs early and taking action, you can regain control of your workplace and protect your team’s harmony.
Toxic workplace behaviors can manifest in a variety of ways, from inappropriate communication to blatant boundary-pushing. Toxic employees often exhibit predictable patterns of behavior that can disrupt team dynamics, lower morale, and harm productivity. Here are some common behavioral patterns and how they manifest in the workplace:
I’ve had my share of encounters with borderline toxic employees and narcissistic personalities.
Let me share some insights.
Toxic employees often dominate meetings, interrupt others, and disregard team input. One narcissistic employee I encountered would constantly derail discussions to focus on their personal achievements, leaving others feeling unheard.
Teamwork often suffers because toxic employees prioritize their agenda over collective goals.
Emails or DMs dripping with sarcasm. accusations, or subtle jabs? That’s a hallmark of toxicity. These poor performer employees use written communication as a way to disguise hostility, making it harder to address directly.
They view situations, people, or decisions as entirely good or bad, with no room for nuance or compromise.
They focus on problems rather than solutions, bringing a cloud of negativity to the workplace.
Workplace Example:
These behaviors don’t just harm the toxic employee’s productivity—they disrupt the entire team’s performance, morale, and trust. Recognizing these patterns early allows you to set boundaries, intervene effectively, and maintain a healthier workplace environment. Often, high-conflict employees aren't able to change their behaviors, no matter how much coaching or setting boundaries.
A Case Study: Belinda – Spotting the Red Flags 🚩
"Belinda" (real employee, her name has been changed here) who worked for me for almost a. yearseemed like the perfect hire—experienced, knowledgeable, and eager to join the team. But red flags began surfacing almost immediately:
- Boundary Pushing: Days before starting, she requested moving expenses and asked for it to not be taxed—an unusual, last-minute request. It’s not uncommon for professionals to negotiate for relocation expenses before accepting a job offer, but waiting until days before starting felt like a calculated move. I brushed it off as a misunderstanding and chalked it up to miscommunication. Little did I know this was the first sign of a pattern: pushing boundaries.
Months later, she asked to use the company credit card for personal travel, and when I declined, she brushed it off, saying it "wasn't a big deal."
- Emotional Manipulation: Early on, she announced that her husband had passed away and demanded time off around that date. Later, she claimed her daughter's house burned down and created a GoFundMe, which I contributed to—only to suspect later it may have been fabricated, as she showed no visible distress.
- Unstable Patterns: When she gave notice, she boasted about moving 20 times in 21 years, a sign of instability. After leaving, she promised to return company laptop, but later lashed out, accusing me of giving her a "dirty box," losing the label, and even suggesting she was owed the laptop.
- Entitlement: Eighteen months after quitting, she reached out asking for financial help, acting as though none of her prior behavior had happened. She was friendly and said she was going thru health issues, needed money.
Belinda’s story highlights classic red flags: frequent boundary-crossing, manipulation through sympathy, and volatile, entitled behavior. These bad workplace habit patterns often escalate over time, making early recognition and firm boundaries essential to protect your team and resources.
Lessons Learned from Belinda
Boundaries Are Key: From the moving expenses request to the company credit card and the GoFundMe, Belinda consistently crossed boundaries. Recognizing these red flags early is critical to protecting your team and resources.
Watch for Patterns: Once you’ve dealt with a personality like this, you’ll notice the same predictable traits and behaviors in others—idealizing situations, deflecting blame, gaslighting, and using sympathy to manipulate.
Trust Your Gut: When something feels “off,” listen to that instinct. The house fire story didn’t add up, and I wish I had trusted my initial hesitation.
Document Everything: Keeping a record of interactions, especially when dealing with manipulative employees, can save you a lot of headaches when disputes arise later.
So, how do you recognize toxic workplace behaviors before they snowball into a full-blown workplace disaster? Keep an eye out for these telltale signs:
Is one employee always at the center of disputes? That’s no coincidence. Constant arguments and complaints are often red flags.
2. Overreaction to Minor Issues
They tend to escalate small issues into major conflicts, turning routine situations into emotional or dramatic events. This constant need for drama drains the team's energy and shifts focus away from productivity.
A lack of concern for coworkers’ feelings or challenges can signal toxicity. These individuals often disregard others’ needs to advance their own agenda.
Are employees quitting without much notice? Or giving the reason: “Taking a break for Mental health” purposes?
When employees repeatedly cross boundaries—whether by making inappropriate requests, disregarding company policies, or blurring personal and professional lines—it’s a major red flag. These actions often signal a lack of respect for rules, authority, or team dynamics. Boundary-crossing behavior, such as using company resources for personal gain or leveraging sympathy for financial favors, isn’t just unprofessional; it’s a form of manipulation. Recognizing these behaviors early is crucial, as they often escalate and undermine workplace harmony.
Toxic employees rarely take responsibility for their mistakes. Instead, they deflect blame onto others, even when it's clear they’re at fault. They may scapegoat coworkers, accuse leadership of being unfair, or claim they're being targeted.
Toxic employees often see the world in black-and-white terms, with no room for nuance. For example, they might label a minor setback as a "total failure" or believe someone is either "completely against" them or "entirely supportive." This rigid thinking creates unnecessary tension and makes compromise difficult.
Triangulation occurs when toxic employees involve a third party in their conflicts to shift blame, avoid responsibility, or gain sympathy. Triangulation disrupts team cohesion, fosters unnecessary drama, and often makes conflicts harder to resolve.
Here are a few other ways triangulation shows up:
Gossip with an Agenda: Someone tells you how “horrible” another coworker is, hoping you’ll side with them and treat that person differently.
Complaining to Higher-Ups: Instead of resolving a minor issue with a teammate, they go straight to management or HR, spinning the story in their favor.
Twisting Stories: They tell you one version of events and someone else a completely different version, leaving everyone confused and suspicious.
Identifying toxicity is just half the battle. The real challenge is addressing it without creating more drama. Here’s a simple framework:
Keep track of incidents, including dates, actions, and their impact. This creates a solid foundation for constructive discussions.
Approach the employee calmly and share observations without making it personal. Focus on the behavior, not the person.
Lay down boundaries and let them know what’s acceptable moving forward.
But what happens when you aren’t sure what to say because they are triggered so easily by everything?
When dealing with high-conflict employees, having the right approach can make all the difference. These individuals thrive on emotional reactions and conflict, so using structured communication techniques like the BIFF Method (developed by Bill Eddy) and the EAR Method can help you stay calm and in control while defusing their toxic tendencies.
The BIFF method is perfect for written or verbal responses when a toxic employee is being confrontational, argumentative, or overly dramatic. It focuses on delivering a message that doesn’t add fuel to the fire. Here's how it works:
Toxic Employee’s Email:
“I can’t believe you’re blaming me for this! It’s obvious that everyone else on the team messed up, and now I’m the scapegoat. This is completely unfair!”
BIFF Response:
“Hi [Name],
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I want to clarify that the team is reviewing everyone’s contributions to the project to ensure we meet our goals. Moving forward, let’s focus on collaborating and improving outcomes together. Please feel free to reach out if you have specific concerns. Best, [Your Name]”
By avoiding emotional triggers, the BIFF method keeps the conversation constructive and prevents escalation.
The EAR method is ideal for face-to-face conversations with a high-conflict employee who’s angry, defensive, or attempting to manipulate the situation. It works by helping them feel heard and respected without you getting emotionally drawn in. Here’s the breakdown:
Toxic Employee:
“This whole team is a mess. Nobody listens to me, and I’m stuck doing everything myself!”
EAR Response:
“I hear that you’re feeling overwhelmed, and I understand how frustrating that must be. Let’s take a moment to break this down together so we can figure out how to move forward in a way that works for everyone.”
Using EAR, you defuse their emotions by acknowledging them while steering the conversation toward problem-solving.
Both BIFF and EAR focus on maintaining your composure while neutralizing the toxic employee’s high-conflict tendencies. By refusing to get drawn into their emotional games and focusing on facts, empathy, and clear communication, you can protect yourself and steer the conversation in a productive direction. These methods are simple, yet incredibly effective tools to have in your leadership arsenal.
Toxic employees may be just a small fraction of your workforce, but their impact is disproportionately large. As someone who’s dealt with this firsthand, I can confidently say that addressing these issues early can save time, money, and your team’s morale.
When toxic traits are ignored, they fester and spread like wildfire. The result? High turnover, decreased productivity, and a workplace culture that’s anything but healthy. By recognizing the signs, understanding the root causes, and acting swiftly, you can protect your team from unnecessary stress and conflict.
Toxic employees can disrupt team dynamics, lower morale, and create unnecessary conflict in the workplace. Addressing their behaviors starts with clear communication and accountability. This is where commitment conversations play a vital role. By setting expectations and empowering employees through effective delegation, you can often redirect negative behaviors into productive outcomes.
But what happens when even the best efforts fail? If an employee continues to exhibit toxic traits despite your attempts to guide them, it may be time to escalate. Learn how to approach these tough situations and foster a healthier workplace in our blog on Mastering Commitment Conversations at the Workplace. It's your ultimate guide to turning tough talks into actionable solutions and ensuring every team member is aligned with your goals.
Don’t let toxic employees derail your company’s progress. Remember: identifying the "bad apples" early allows you to address the issue before it poisons the entire team.The key is to address the issue early, before it spreads like wildfire. By spotting the psychological traits, recognizing disruptive behaviors, and intervening with a clear plan, you can stop the damage in its tracks.
Your team—and your bottom line—will thank you for it.
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